Oh hai. Mah namez Elsie Fowler, Iz a cat. I dunno what kinda cat what difference dat mayk? Mama Person (I call her MP cuz it too hard to typz Mama Person all da timez. I call my bio mom Mama Cat cuz shez a cat like me. But I call her MC jus fer conssisency.) sez Iz a Dummestik Shorthare wich sowns lyk a bunni to me but watevz. MP also sezz wez “Mutt-i-greez” and I don eeben no.
Enywayz… I livz in a howse wit lotz of windoes so me an MC can lookz outsidez and seez stuffz. We rnt allowd to go outz, tho, wich sux. MP sez we get eaten by wyld goggies or hit by them big lowd metal monstr tings. We ridez in won to go to that mean ladee who sticks us wit sharp tings and puts stuff in r buttz! I hatez dat ladee! So I hatez dem big loud metal monstr tings too.
I livz in the howse wit my bio mama, MC/Mama Cat. She had me in da joint, and our peeples took us both home frum da joint. I dint likez it der. It wuz lowd (I dun like lowd.) and der wer TONZ of stunky goggies. So we wuz lucki the rite peeples came for us to pik to take us to here. MP callz dis our “furevr home.” Itz ok. The peeples giv us fewds and speshul snaks sumtimez, and there are mices to chase, even tho MP takez dem away frum me all da time! She letz dem go! Itz just rong!
We gotz udder toyz tho, likez boxxez and string and I have dis skwisshy football I like. Tinfoyl balls r my faborit and krinklee tings. Also the peeples gib us LOTZ of warm plasez to sleep on. Sometimes I likez to sleepz on MC, but shez mean, she bitez me wen she wakez up. She sayz “You grone up, kid! Fine ur own plase to sleepz!” So den I likez to sleepz on MP, speshully when she in the cumffy chair and she gotz the fuzzy blankit. Dat’s mah faborite. I sleepz wit Grampa sumtimez, but he snorz.
So libbin in the howse is ok. I likez the other peeples who live here too. MP calls them “Gramma” and “Grampa.” Somtimez dey feed us and gib us treets or playz wit us (tho MC likez to sleep mostly. Shez champin napper!). Gramma pix me up all the time, and evn tho I gib her dirty lookz she still goz “Awww.” and callz me pretty baby and stuffz. Grampa likez to throw stuffz fer me to chase, so datz fun. Grampa also gotz dat red lite ting dat drivs me CRAZEE! U can nebber katch it eben if u chase it foreber!
My birfday is March 23, 2008 so if you wantz to send me stuffz. I needz a noo scracher cuz I mostly ated mine. I cnt help it! I likez da taste of carbored! Itz one of dos Alpine wonz dat go at an angle so I kin strech owt. I berry long u no. Ma MC is squatty and fat I dunno how I gotz so long and skinny like doz gyz dat run back n frth on the wud floors in the flat ting the peepls sit in frunt of all da timez. I bet ma Daddy Cat waz long like me, but MC duzznt know cuz shez a floozie — datz wat MP sez. MC sez so whatz? She not ashmd she hot and got a lotz of tail in her timez. So I alwayz looking fer catz dat cudz be my Daddy Cat. Jus wanna see what he luks like.
U no who lookz like me? Harley dat cat dat hangz out wit Dazy Da Curlee Cat! No srsly! Taykez a gud lookz at him! He cud totez be ma daddy.
Allso I likez wachin liddle peeples on tha flat tin my peeples stayr at all da time. MP sez dey playin futball or bassetball. I like little peeples runnin arown. Sumday I fine out howta git dem out of da flat box tin. I allso likez that sho with the buzzin and the wurds dat go akross da top of da skreen. MP sez itz da Emerjensi Brodcats Sysem. Itz nice peeples got tings on dat box for catz to wach too.
Enywayz thnx fer comin to ma blog. Der shud be a bettr name fer it dan dat. A kewl catti name. I dunno.
Elsie Fowler, Cat