Itz gettin cold, soz the mowsiez (aka mices) gettin in da howse agin. Dey smelli and skweeki, but deyr ma fabrit toyz to playz wit. I gotz speshul spotz I wachez wayr I noz dey goz, likez ober da big skwayr rolli bumpi tings da ppls put der skinz in. (I dunno wy. Itz jus lyk howz dey don kleen demselbs by likkin deyr fur witz deyr tungs. IT DON MAYKZ NO SENS!) Neewayz, wen I sitz on da shelf ober the rolly clunki tings, da mowsies go by ober ma hed. So I pullz dem down and go YAYZ! cuz I lykez ta playz wit da mowsies I cachez!
Derez anodder plase in da room were da fyrbox is, WAY up on top of da big ting dat look lik a canz wit hawt waterz in it, an da mowsies run up der too so wen ders a fyr in da cold tym I canz go in der and cach dem.
So nywayz, de udder nitz I waz on top of da clunky rolli bumpi ting an I GODDED A BIGG HEWG MOWSIE! I MEEN LYK DA BIGGES MOWSIE I EBBER SEEN! So I jumpz down to playz wit it, an it godded awayz, but den I cowt it agin, and den MP saw mee an did dat passib abbresib ting she duz wer she goez all “GOOD GIRL! DROPZ IT! OKAY, GOOD GIRL! GOOD HUNTER! NOW LET IT GO!”
An she chaysez mee all arownd and trys to cach me, and da first tym dat happen I tink, “Oh yay, Momma Person lyks ta playz wit mowsies too!” BUT SHE TOTEZ DUZNT! You no wha she duz? SHE LETZ DEM GO! She taykz dem outsidez and if dey dint go all stillz wile we was playin, she letz em goz, but if dey went all ded wen we wuz playin, she BERRIES DEM. WHY UD U BERRY A PURRFEKLY GUD MOWSIE!? Eben if it no goodz fur playin anymorez, u can still EATZ IT. Sheesh.
So I caches dis big fat mowsie, and MP jumps up and duz her Pass-Agg ting and chasez me arownd, but I NOT LETTIN HER HAZ MAH MOWSIE! So I runnin, an runnin, an runnin, and den Mama Cat cums ober an “halpz” wich just meens stannin her fat butt der and laffin at mee and goin “Just let it go, kid,” and Iz all NO WAYZ DIS IS MAH MOWSIE! But den ya noz wat? I WAZNT PAYIN ATTNSHUN, AN I DROPD DA MOWSIE! IT RAN AWAYZ! An wen I wen ta go getz it MP PIKZ ME UP AND PETZ ME AND SHE’S ALL “WHUT A GOOD GRL.” BUT I KNOWZ ALL SHE DOIN IS HOLDIN ME BACK SO DA MOWSIE CAN GET AWAY!
I donz undrstnz peepls, I jes don.
O! An u no wat elz? MP had littl bird wings fer seknd brkfst 2day and she DINT SHAYR ANY! MEEN! MPz as meen as my bio mom.
Bes prt of da day wuz wen I got ta tayk a napz on top of Grammaz dhewmiddifyr. Datz nys. Itz warm and goz hmmmmmmmm. Much nyser dan my bio mom.